빠르게 생각하고, 똑똑하게 말하기: 커뮤니케이션 테크닉
동영상 원본
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAnw168huqA
수업을 떠나서 어떻게 하면 더 효과적으로 말할 수 있을지에 대한 고민은 꾸준히 해왔던 것 같다.
개인적으로 스토리텔링을 잘하는 시간 순삭자들을 만나면 "경이롭다.. 어떻게 하면 이 친구들과 같이 재밌게 얘기할 수 있을까?" 란 고민을 했었다. 그게 비단 영어든, 한국어든.
그래서 스토리텔링이나 커뮤니케이션에 관련된 책들을 좀 사두고 했지만, 여전히 먼지만 뽀얗게 묻힌 체 요지부동.. 손이 가지 않는다.
하지만 말로 먹고사는 직업을 가진지라 최근에 문득 좀 더 말을 잘하고 싶다 라는 생각과 학생들도 나와 비슷한 생각을 하지 않을까(?) 생각이 들어, 회화 수업에 Stanford GSB (Standford Graudate School of Business)에서 전략적 커뮤니케이션 강의를 맡고 계신 Matt Abrahams의 강의를 보고 느낀 점이나 이 분이 말하는 커뮤니케이션의 기술을 익히는 시간을 가져보기로 했다.
유튜브에서 강의를 찾으니 58분...... 사실 학생들에게 이런 비디오 영상들을 보고 정리해오라고 숙제로 던져드린 뒤 본인 맘도 그다지 편친 않다... 이 58분의 동영상을 요약하고 정리하는데 얼추 3시간을 넘겼던 것 같다 집중한 시간만 포함해서
하지만 우리 학생들은 그 정도 능력이 되시는 분들 아닌가? 영어선생이라는 자의 편협하고 쉽고 자주 써먹는 패턴 영어와 표현, 어휘로 만으로는 이미 어느 정도 레벨을 갖추신 우리 학생들의 회화실력을 향상하는 것은 제한적이다. 고로 나 역시 영어라는 바다에 조금 더 깊게 들어가서 유영해야 한다... 매일매일
이 동영상의 어젠다는 '불안 극복, 기본원칙 지키기, 자연스럽게 말하기'이다
각설하고 열심히 요약한 내용들을 공개한다.
Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques
Anxiety management
In order to be an effective communicator, regardless of if it's planned or spontaneous, you need to have your anxiety under control. 85% of people struggle with speaking in public, this is one of the top 5 terrifying activities people would avoid doing and it's a ubiquitous fear but we can learn to manage.
He believes that Anxiety actually gives us energy, helps us focus, tells us what we're doing is important. so instead of removing the anxiety, leverage the anxiety.
Facing nice nodding audiences doesn't help you to be calm on a stage. You need to manage anxiety because if you are nervous on a stage, they would be uncomfortable too. Your job as a communicator is rather to make your audience comfortable.
Because if they're comfortable they can receive your message.
The techniques you can use based on academic research.
1. When you feel initial nervousness, greet the anxiety and acknowledge it that it's normal and natural. 85% of people feel the same. by doing this, you actually can stem the tide of that (great expression btw) anxiety spiraling out of control.
it does not necessarily reduce the anxiety but it will stop it from spinning out.
2. Reframe as a conversation, not a performance.
Re-framing how you see the speaking situation.
We need to look at presentations as conversation other than performance because there is no right way to do.
Helpers
a. Start with a question: get audiences involved in the conversation.
b. Use conversational language, not the distancing language.
- One must consider the ramifications (x) -> this is important to you, we all need to be concerned with
- we are going to cover step one, step two, step three (x) -> first what we need to do is this, the second thing you should consider is here (o)
=> the key is the pronouns! What pronouns you use to determine whether you use distancing language or conversational language.
- Be present-oriented
- If you can bring yourself into the present moment rather than being worried about future consequences, you can actually be less nervous.
Ex)
a. what 10,000 paid per an hour speaker do before coming out is 100 push up to be in the present
b. What most sports stars do before the match is listening to music to get them at the moment.
c. His favorite way to get present-oriented is to say tongue twisters. Saying tongue twisters force you to be in the moment and it has the added benefit of warming up your voice
Something like: I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, and on that slitted sheet I sit
How to feel more comfortable speaking in spontaneous situations.
Identify 4 steps that are critical to becoming effective at speaking, in a spontaneous situation.
1. get ourselves out of the way. (aka. Dare to be dull / you don't have to be perfect!!! )
The pressure created by yourself to be perfect block your flawless speaking
2. Shout the wrong name game could help! (remember: no stockpiles, no patterns )
By doing this, you would expect to get out of your own way. You're working against the muscle memory that you've developed over the course of your life with a vain, a brain that acts very fast to help you solve problems.
In essence, in spontaneous speaking situations, you put too much pressure on yourself trying to figure out how to get it right
3.. Change the way you approach it. See things as an opportunity.
When you reframe the spontaneous speaking opportunity as an opportunity as something that you co-create(means: create together) and share, all of the sudden, you are less nervous, less defensive, and you can accomplish something pretty darn good.
4. Yes and opens up a tremendous amount of opportunities.(positive reactions to the person's opinion.)
How to tell your story?
The last phase is Slow down and listen
If you don't pay attention to what audiences ask and need, you can't fulfill the obligation(as a communicator).
The story has a structure. The two most prevalent and popular and useful structures you can use to communicate a message in a spontaneous situation.
Value of structure
Structured information can be processed roughly 40% more effectively and efficiently than information that's not structured.
1. Structure: Problem, solution, benefit (aka Chunking structure)
To Memorize 10 digit phone number: 3 / 3 / 4 => structured.
Problem: what the issue is
Solution: a way of solving it
Benefit: benefits of following through on it => very persuasive, very effective.
2. What? So what? Now what? structure.
What is it?
Why they are important
What're the next steps?
Structures set you free!!
summary:
1. Manage your anxiety because you can't be an effective speaker technics: greeting your anxiety, reframing as a conversation, being in the present moment.
2. Speak spontaneously by using the four technics.
a. Get out of your own way: the point at things and call them the wrong names.
b. Give gifts: see your interactions as ones of opportunity, not challenges.
c. Take the time to listen
d. Use the structures and practice the structures.
(독해 공부를 하시고 싶으신 분들은 독해 공부시간을, 귀차니즘이 몰려오신 분들께는 구글번역기라는 똑똑한 친구를 추천해드린다.)
우선 강의를 다 보고 드는 생각이 강사님이 참 말을 잘하신다고 생각했다.
영어 발음도 그렇고 누가봐도 이해하기 쉬운 단어들을 활용하셔서 프레젠테이션을 진행하셨기에 굉장히 알아듣기도 쉬웠다. 그 사이사이 청중들의 참여를 유도하는 게임부터 적절한 프레젠테이션 이미지까지 활용해서 청중들과 1시간이라는 긴 시간 내내 강의에 집중시키셨고, 발음이나 바디랭귀지도 굉장히 안정적이며 자연스러워서 보기 편안했다.
무대에 오를 일이 살면서 얼마나 있겠냐만은 만약 있다면 이런 테크닉들을 활용하면 확실히 효과기 있어 보인다.
음악동아리 당시에 무대에서의 멘트 때문에 얼마나 많은 식음 땀을 흘렸던가...
조금 미리 알아두었다면 정말 요긴하게 썼을 텐데라는 아쉬움이 밀려온다.
그렇지만 지금 알았다고 수업에 이런 기술들을 활용 못하는 것은 아니지 않은가?
지금은 대부분의 수업 1:1이니만큼 사실 큰 불안은 없지만 그룹 과외를 할 때 굉장히 도움이 많이 되겠다.
특히 거리를 두는 언어 대신 대화형 언어를 쓰라는 부분에서는 꽤 인상적이었다.
무의식적으로도 그렇게 말했다면 의식을 하며 적극적으로 대화형 언어를 써서 조금 더 소통에 활력을 더 하고 싶다.